but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's shark week go big or go home
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
