His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
