I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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