I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
