Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
