ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
