just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
