Small penises have feelings too.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
