She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
