best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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