Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
