i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
