Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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