He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
