Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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