Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
