It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
