I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
did i walk over a car last night?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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