Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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