Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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