I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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