As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
