id be glad to
Is it because I queefed?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
