forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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