i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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