Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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