What a fucking waste of an outfit
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize