i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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