my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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