I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
