they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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