Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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