Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
