I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
