Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
