ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
