pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize