and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
