Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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