I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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