K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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