So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
