Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
