She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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