Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
