mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
