pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it hurts more in the daytime
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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