What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
