I wish I only lived at night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
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No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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