Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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