Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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