no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
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He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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