And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
