So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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