So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize