ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
