I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
