Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
