just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
