Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
