Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sorry my hands just texted you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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