Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
God, I missed his penis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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