I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize