do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
