hotel room ftw
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
