She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
